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If you’re a man, chances are that you don’t know how to communicate with women.
It’s not your fault. It’s just that men and women communicate differently.
Fortunately, this skill can be learned.
Men mostly communicate through facts and stories. This is surface information.
Women, on the other hand, use sub-communication. They still pay attention to the surface information, but the main things they interpret are the feelings and intentions underneath.
This difference in communication is confusing for men.
And the fact that men completely miss the emotions and intentions behind everything women say is hurtful to women.
When you express your vulnerability, such as when complimenting a woman, it must be done without any ulterior motive.
You are doing it because you wish to express yourself, nothing more.
By doing this, you are communicating on her level because she understands not only the surface compliment, but also the genuine intention behind it.
Think back over your past interactions with women.
Were you being needy and bragging, i.e., trying to impress her?
Or were you being genuinely vulnerable and sharing who you are, i.e., polarizing her?
Once you understand this difference in communication, you realize that the actual words that come out of your mouth aren’t so important. It is the intention behind them that really matters.
The primary reason men are scared to express their sexual desires is because they don’t want to be that “creepy” guy.
Unfortunately, if you want to have success with women, this is unavoidable.
When you are a man who freely expresses his sexuality, some women will respond positively, and some will label you as creepy.
You will be perceived as ‘creepy’ when you behave in a way that makes her feel sexually insecure. Most women need to see your actions align with your intentions before they are comfortable with expressing their sexuality with you. This can happen instantly for some women, or never for others, but until it does happen, you will be perceived as a creep.
Fortunately, as long as you are respectful in how you express yourself, and back off on the women that don’t reciprocate your interest, you should never run into a serious problem.
The more comfortable you are with the fact that some women will find you creepy, the less women will actually find you creepy.
When you are not worried about being creepy, you will naturally be more open and genuinely expressive about your feelings and intentions, and that is a non-creepy way to behave.
If you try to hide your true intentions, your actions will not be congruent; she will sense it. This is creepy.
Of course, there are some things that will make you seem creepy no matter how good your intentions, such as bad body language, weird conversation, inappropriate touching, etc.
Flirting is how you build sexual tension without being creepy.
It is the way to express your sexuality to a woman in a way that makes her feel secure in expressing her sexuality back towards you.
One way to do this is to be direct. Just walk right up and say “I find you very attractive. Let’s go on a date.”
Here are the reasons it works:
1. It is polarizing. She needs to decide whether she is interested in you or not. Whichever she chooses is good for you.
2. Women are turned on by being desired, and this clearly shows desire.
3. It demonstrates that you are confident, bold, and not needy.
4. It is clear that you have sexual interest.
5. It has her ‘on her toes.’ Someone doing this is not common. She will be wondering what you will do or say next.
When you are open and vulnerable with women it allows her to get to know who you really are.
This builds trust and she will in turn open up her feelings to you.
This sharing of emotion and vulnerability is what builds meaningful connection.
Don’t wait for her. Become aware of your emotions, dreams, and vulnerabilities and share them with her first. Relate it to feelings (as opposed to facts) and don’t be afraid to go deep once you have built an initial emotional connection.
Bonus points if you can relate to her emotional struggles. It isn’t hard. Everyone has experienced things like ambition, shame, loneliness, love, regret, etc. All you need to do is dig it out of her and connect with it.
And once you have this deeper emotional connection, everything about the relationship improves significantly.
Once you have your looks and lifestyle sorted out, you are bold, and are able to show your vulnerable side, you will have the ultimate seduction trifecta.
Most women enjoy sex just as much, if not more, than men.
The reason they don’t have sex with the majority of men they are attracted to is because of the slut stigma.
Women feel ‘slutty’ when they sleep with a man who doesn't care about her or whom she hasn't built a connection with.
If she doesn’t trust you or isn’t completely convinced that you really like her, then, in normal circumstances, she won’t have sex with you. And if she does, she will regret it.
Your ability to communicate is a result of a bunch of good or bad communication habits.
Like any area of life built on habits, you need to identify the good habits to build and the bad habits to break.
Once you have identified them, focus on just one at a time. Consciously change your behavior until the new behavior is second nature, then move onto the next thing.
Many of your habits, or behaviors, are linked to your internal anxieties. Fixing your external behaviors has a knock-on effect to lowering your internal anxieties, which in turn continues to improve your external behaviors, and so on. It is like a self-improvement flywheel.
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