Models Chapter 13 Summary: The Dating Process

There is a fairly predictable procedure when it comes to dating:

• Boy meets girl
• Contact details are traded
• They converse
• They go on a date
• If the date was not a total failure, they converse some more and go on a second date.

This process repeats until the pair either calls it off or has some sort of intimate relationship.

Of course, there are many nuances and exceptions to this, but in general that’s how it happens.

A flake is basically a girl who stands you up.

She will give you her number or agree to meet but then either never responds or doesn’t show up.

Many dating guides will give you tips and techniques to ‘win over’ a flaky girl, but that is a poor solution.

Instead, aim to attract women who are so interested in you that they won’t flake in the first place.

Even when you do this, you will still encounter flakes. Don’t waste your energy trying to figure out why she flaked.

Instead, use a “three strikes and you’re out” policy. You need to give at least a second chance because she might have a legitimate excuse for not showing up or replying. You can even tell her it’s her last chance.

If a girl flakes on you three times, just move on.

Obsessing over things like how often to text a girl, how long to wait until you call her, and so on, is a waste of time and energy. Also, setting rigid rules will hinder your efforts in building a connection.

Here is a linear path you can follow for asking a girl out:

• Only ask out women you are genuinely interested in and who also seem genuinely interested in you.
• Don’t worry about using fancy lines or excuses. Just ask for her number plain and simple.
• Send her a simple text within 24 hours of getting her number, e.g., “Hey Alice, it was nice meeting you.” If she doesn’t respond, she will probably flake on you. If she does respond, start a conversation, flirt, and set up a date.
• Texts are easy to misinterpret, so don’t try to get too sarcastic or witty. Use very clear language and get to the point. The aim is to meet her in person on a date.
• A date is two people out together. If either of you bring or intentionally meet up with friends, then it's not really a date.

Dating isn’t difficult. You just need to go to the right venues and the right times and avoid totally bumbling things up.

Nothing says “let’s just be friends” more than having lunch together. Dates with romantic intentions are best done at night.

Reserve three-ish hours for the date. Aim to meet anywhere between 6pm to 9pm.

Avoid dinner and/or the movies for at least the first two dates. You can’t talk during a movie and it's hard to touch or make a personal connection during dinner.

Instead, go to places that are active and allow for touching and flirting. Comedy clubs, walks in the park, dance classes, swimming at the beach, or just grabbing a drink are all great ideas.

I personally like to take women to “touristy” type stuff. Mostly because I often meet women while traveling so I want to do these things anyway, but also because they are interesting places to go. You can do the same even if you aren’t traveling. Pretend the two of you are tourists in your city and take her to see the sights.

Wherever you go, make sure the last place is near either your place or hers. A short drive away is fine, but walking distance is better.

Plan out several things for you to do on the date and string them together into a three-hour period.

The idea is to create as many different shared memories together in the least possible time.

If you meet and it is not going well during the first activity, you can always go your separate ways, but if it does go well you will continue the fun.

Include dancing if possible. It is the most sexual date activity there is.

And if you are drinking, save it for the later venues. Being hammered on a date is never good.

Contrary to today’s obsession with political correctness, most women still want the man to be the man.

That means you need to be leading. You make the decisions and she follows them.

Never ask her “what do you want to do now?” You come up with the ideas of what to do and take her to do them.

Also, the man always pays, even if she offers. Unless she physically pulls out her money and is insistent, you pay.

When you first meet a girl, you flirt with teasing and playful banter.

As the date progresses, steer your conversations deeper. Learn about her past, her passions, her favorite things, etc.

Be sure to do this by first sharing about yourself. You don’t want it to turn into an interview.

Read the next chapter here.

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