Models Chapter 2 Summary: Power in Vulnerability

A lot of men, whether parental or societal, are brought up to withhold their emotions.

This may have served us well in the past, but times have changed.

When people think of being vulnerable they most commonly think of it as sharing your fears and insecurities, but this is only one way to show vulnerability.

Putting yourself in a position of rejection is another type of vulnerability, and this can come in many forms.

Asking a woman out, or any type of escalation, are obvious sticking points for vulnerability.

Other social situations, such as telling a joke that others may not find funny or voicing an unpopular opinion, also expose vulnerability since you may be ostracized socially, even if it is just for a second.

If you are bad with women there’s a good chance it is because you are not expressing your true feelings and intentions very well.

Connect with women by being vulnerable. This is how you build emotional connection.

A non-needy man is comfortable with his flaws and doesn’t mind showing them. It shows he cares more about how he feels about himself than how others view him.

Open up about your feelings, dreams, and values.

Expose your insecurities, doubts, and fears.

Let rejections flow over you and move on. Eventually you will find someone that loves you for who you are, and when you do, go all in.

This doesn’t mean you should go around telling women your sob stories in order to get laid.

If you do that, women will sense your bad intentions and will put you in the ‘creep’ zone.

Vulnerability is not a technique. It is a mindset.

It is about being confident and comfortable enough with yourself that you are willing to show your flaws and open up on a deeper level with those you feel connected with.

If you ever think to yourself “that didn’t work” then your intentions are wrong. You are performing, and performing is needy.

Everything you say, from vulnerability to compliments, must be authentic. It is the emotion behind your words that tells the truth, and that can’t be faked.

When you first start forming a new habit or making a change there are always sticking points where you are more likely to give up.

You will have these sticking points when practicing vulnerability.

Push through them. It’s the only way.

For example, approaching women may seem scary at first, but after doing it every day for a month you will think nothing of it.

Or perhaps you find it difficult to open up to women, or to go in for the first kiss.

These are all possible pain points and they are different for everyone. But when you do things enough times, you become comfortable with them. Getting rejected is no different.

Vulnerability can be extremely difficult if you are not used to it. It can help to start within your comfort zone.

Instead of being vulnerable with strangers, start by opening up a bit more with close friends and family.

And if that is too much, then it can help to talk to a therapist with whom you have no emotional attachment.

Read the next chapter here.

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