Models Chapter 3 Summary: The Gift of Truth

Women are attracted to men who can express themselves openly and honestly.

But there can be no ulterior motive.

Everything you do and say must be genuine.

In reality, when you are being genuinely you, you can say anything you want to women.

The words don’t matter so much. It’s your intentions behind the words that will resonate with her.

When you speak to a woman in a way that is genuine with who you are, even if you say something weird, the sub-communication is that you don’t care how she reacts. This is who you are and she can take it or leave it.

Express your thoughts and feelings as they arise without shame. If you are attracted to her, let her know. Your honest declaration of interest will make you more attractive if she is also attracted to you.

Have you ever had someone come up to you on the street and be overly nice to you for no reason?

You probably have at least once in your life. And chances are this person wanted to sell you something.

Even if they didn’t try to tell you something right at the start, you could sense there was an ulterior motive.

Well, when strange guys go up to women and gush about how beautiful they are, their bullshit meter skyrockets.

People don’t trust people who are overly nice for no reason. There needs to be a reason for you to be attracted to a woman other than her physical appearance.

This doesn't mean you can’t approach women you don’t know. Of course you can, and should. It just means you shouldn’t be declaring your love or putting her on a pedestal without first getting to know her.

You must have standards, as much for yourself and for her. Having low or no standards is not only unattractive, but the only women you will attract will treat you like a doormat.

The type of women who respond to men who shower them with gifts and endless compliments are shallow and superficial.

These are the type of women who trade affection for material gain and superficial social status.

You don’t want this type of woman.

It’s not that you should never be nice to women. Of course you should. But a good woman’s desire is to be genuinely desired and not just seen as a ‘trophy wife.’

Only give compliments when you are genuinely inspired to give them, and only after you have gotten to know her. And remember, her reaction is not important. What’s important is that you are expressing your genuine feelings towards her at that moment.

Being unconditionally honest is not just about only giving compliments only when compliments are due.

You must also set your boundaries and stick to them. When she crosses the line, let her know, and be willing to walk away if she continues to cross them.

Ironically, the sub-communication of you disapproving her bad actions is very attractive.

This doesn't mean you should be a dick to her or try to change her. It’s about respecting your boundaries as well as hers. When she does something you don’t like, calmly let her know. If she chooses to continue doing the things you don’t like, then do you really want to be with her?

In order to set your boundaries you first must become acutely aware of your own feelings and desires.

You must know what you truly want before you can express it to others.

For some people, this may involve some deep inner work, even going to therapy to seek out your emotional truth.

Mark Manson writes the following to define friction:

“Friction is when a woman finds you to be an attractive man, but there are value differences or external circumstances that prevent her from acting on that attraction or being interested in you.”

There will always be friction in any relationship. There will always be some little thing that one person dislikes about another. Many of these things are easy to ignore, but sometimes they are insurmountable.

Projection is when a woman lashes out because they are afraid of their sexuality or openly sexual men, usually due to some past trauma.

This may project as rejection, but in reality they lash out because they are attracted and that scares them. Stay away from these women.

The truth is, you are going to be incompatible with the majority of women due to high friction and projection.

The goal is not to attract every woman. Instead, the idea is to filter and hone in on those women that are most likely to be attracted to you.

Read the next chapter here.

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